Monday, February 25, 2013


I'm struggling today  I heard that my pastor received my referral letter which made me nervous. Not sure why since Ryan and I both know this is God's will.  I was adivised today to get referrals from close friends and employers to hand in to our social worker for our adoption process.  

After asking a friend I was hit with a wall. I got a reply of no.  By my surprise this no was painful.  I mean hit in the gut, take my breath away painful. See, I made the mistake of talking to my friend only when things seem to be rough. Though there are more up's then downs, unfortunately my friend has not seen or heard it. This is no one's fault but my own. It is still painful to hear that you will not be given a referral from someone you considered a close friend. :-(

So, I started to think. I started to have a little Dena pitty party. Pathetic, I know.  Still, I was sad and I wanted to dive into a box of Thin Mints in the fridge, but instead of doing that, I prayed. I started to read the bible and asked God for wisdom.  See, I know I'm not the only one that is haunted by a troubled past or poor decision making. So, in effort to help me feel better. God brought the people below to mind.

  1. Eve - She started the sin. She ended up then creating the nation as we know it now. 
  2. Cain - He killed his brother 
  3. Abraham - Did not listen to Christ
  4. David - Adulterer, murderer, liar - Then became the greatest King
  5. Moses - Directly disobeyed God, Then became the Leader of the Egyptians
  6. Paul - was a murdered - He ended up writing  13 of the 27 books. over 30% of the New Testament. 
  7. Peter - Denied Christ 

Ok, so these are just a few. 
The important thing to see in this event is that God does not need perfect people to use for his purposes. Abraham was a mortal man just like us. He had his weaknesses and sometimes failed to do the right thing (Rom. 3:23). In spite of his weakness and sin, God still used him and he can use us as well. You will note that God makes a point to tell us of the shortcomings of all the great Bible heroes. Only Jesus was without sin. (First Century Christian)

I'm already feeling better but still saddened. Who'd thought that this process would be such a learning experience. I mean way more then I even thought. Ryan is constantly asking about what's going on which is refreshing. We are more accountable to each other then ever. I've got to say, this has brought us closer. Which, of course is AMAZING. All, this because two people decided to follow God's will despite our pasts. 

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